Dope Insta Captions

Keeping it light, because I hardly do. Music I believe tells you a lot about a person, if you want to know what someones going through look at the last 25 songs they played. But here are Some of my favorite song lyrics and some dope insta captions. Enjoy!

Getting Over Someone

1. "You say we should talk just like we use to that's the kinds thought I'm afraid of getting use to"

2. "You hurt like sin"

3."I don't think I love you anymore"

4."You're lost and love it again"

5."Through these nights we lay awake"

6."Relationships are better when you leave out the hoping"

7. "I made a list of everything I said I never meant"

8. "Cause when love is pain we just love it more"

Feeling yourself

9."Good girl in a bad dress"

10."You hair smell like the tropics, your body look nice"

11. "I don't want to die for them to miss me"

Feelin Someone Else 

12. "I'm a fool for your love"

13. "So lets start with good intentions"

14. "Every night I'm looking at you with my game face"

15. "I wanna stay here till we pass out together, cause it don't get much better"

Lyrics I Just like 

16."I can't feel my face"

17."Can't save me man, save yourself because I do not need your help"

18."So I've been thinking that i think too much"

19. "Run with the feeling of being alive well we're still young"

20. "I'm hoping one day maybe I'll float away"

21. "Rivulet flow from your eyes, paint runs from your mouth like a waterfall"

XOXO
Des

Sex.

You guys, I'm on a creative roll right now and I'm not sure if its simply because I'm not up doing homework till 3am, dancing 10 plus hours a week or coaching but I'm happy to be able to do what I love during break without any distractions... creating art. All of my blogs that I write are typically inspired by someone, a moment or a life event. Sometimes it's very clear other times not so much. Depending on the person, I like to keep them guessing.

(that's if they even read it)

This post is inspired by a really good friend of mine, who's going to remain anonymous. Just know I love you, God loves you and you are so beyond worthy of great and wonderful things.

Sooo, let's do this!


If you know me you know I hate getting involved in other peoples "love life" or "relationships".  I just don't think it's any of my business and I'm going to have a bias opinion because, girl power... duh? But seriously, I don't like to get involved because I don't even know what I'm doing with my own love life currently or how to do a love life? So you probably shouldn't take my love life advice, it might get you dumped.

However, against my better judgement I'm gonna give you some today anyways. LOL.

 I received my purity ring in 6th grade, deciding and making a promise to God that I wouldn't have sex before marriage and that I would wait for my husband. A lot of people that tend to make that promise usually attended some purity youth conference or purity night with awesome lights, emotional music and 10 steps to take when you're being tempted. I never had that experience. (I did go to one in high school with a friend, pretty lit) I had more of a personal conversation with God. Not having sex before marriage was a moral my mom stressed, She explained to me that when I felt ready to make that promise (if I wanted to ) that we would pray about it together and make it happen.
     I want to stress that my desision to not have sex was never pushed upon me or something I had to do, it was an option and a real commitment made between me and God... not a religious view point being shoved down my throat by my church or parents. It's still the same way today... my choice and my promise. Because I know Gods will is far more greater than any plans for amazing or awkward nights.

 I tend to have a lot of conversations about sex due to the fact that I'm still a virgin or maybe my age?... whatever. It's sometimes me asking questions to my very sex positive roommate or talking to friends who don't believe in sex before marriage like me and the struggle of that choice. Sex is just a very common conversation currently in my life, and I honestly don't mind it... It should be openly talked about. It isn't something I really struggle with and I'm not sure if it's because I'm super hard headed and have already made my mind up on the topic. Sex before marriage is something I will absolutely not budge on... Sorry homeboy nothing is  happen over here in that department unless I have a Tiffany's ring on my finger. *smiles* Thanks.


So the conversation started like most sex conversations start for me. "But how do you not give in when kisses are flowing and hands are touching?" I explained that because sex isn't really difficult for me I didn't feel  I was qualified to answer or give her advice. I told her in all honesty when making out is getting to hot and heavy for me I just simply say no, or tell that person we need to take a break for awhile. I've even quoted a bible verse once and if that isn't a instant mood killer I don't know what is.

We continued discussing that topic an then she went on to tell me how upset and lonely she feels. That she longs for intimacy with someone, she feels weak and that if she doesn't have sex with that person they won't want to stay with her. She doesn't want to be alone, she wants someone to hold her and to be there for her. She's torn between her relationship with Christ and her relationships with men. She told me she feels convicted not condemned. (which I think is important) Due to the fact that she's been praying for her future husband to be a pure and a godly man, she then preceded to ask something that actually spoke to me, "Des how can I ask god for a pure and godly man when I'm not even pure?"

Wow.

I went on to explain to her that I'm constantly praying for my husband too, I pray for his day, his job or school and his family. I pray that my husband will love Jesus 100% more than me and that the center of his life is God, I also pray that I'll be able to give him the same exact thing back. My beautiful friend(s), we all sin and fall short of the glory of God. No sin is worse than the other... if your partner only finds purity through being a virgin that's not the person you've been praying for.

I encouraged her to think about why Christ was convicting her so hard. I ended the conversation with "I love you and you're worthy, but it might be time for you to trade your lust in for some faith"

She replied back:"It's like I have to hand over my sin, so he'll hand me something better. It just clicked"

Bingo.


XOXO

Des.

Too Worldly for The Church and Too Christ Like for the World

I find myself often apologizing for my unfavored opinions or thought processes, I ask that when you read this post or my blog as a whole that you look at my heart instead of heavily  disagreeing with me or jumping to conclusions, I don't know your struggles but I'm done apologizing for my own, the observations that I've made, and or my own personal experiences. So, here we go... are you ready?


I have always thought of myself as too worldly for the church and too christ like for the world, which tends to leave me with a strong taste of rejection in mouth far too often than I'd like. I would love to be your stereotype of a christian who prays when you're suppose to, who says amen at just the right time, and who goes on mission trips and takes pictures with little poor children that I'll never see again. I've even tried to be that, but that's NOT who I am... it would be so much easier if I was trust me. It's also not negative if that's who you are, the body of christ needs people just like that to reach people I probably can't. However I shouldn't, you shouldn't and the church shouldn't tear people down who are not that. I'm just as important to the body as someone like that is, and it's sad that it's taken me 21 years and even still trying to convince myself that I'm worthy and good enough to be apart of something bigger than who I am.

I remember one time when I was about ten years old, my older brother and I were in our basement playroom and he was beating me up (as older brothers do) and he wouldn't stop. I was screaming, kicking do anything that would make him stop and get off, surprise it didn't work. So I yelled "Get off me bitch!!!". (LOL)  Guess what, he got off me and then told me he was gonna tell my mom on me. I pushed him and ran up the stairs and told on myself instead.

That moment has stuck with me for so long, When my brother told me he was gonna tell on me I didn't cry and beg him not to or try to blackmail him. (which happened a lot when we got older) I realized what I did was wrong and I wanted my mom to hear it from me not someone else. That's how I look at myself as a follower of christ. I am not perfect, I don't think I'm better than someone who doesn't believe what I believe and I make mistakes all the time. I just prefer for people to see me for who I truly am,  I'm not putting on a show so the world or the church will judge me less or value me more. I simply just love Jesus Christ and thats it.

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God "

 Romans 3:23

XOXO City Dreamers.

Can you see me?

Hi, Hello. Wassssuppp? It hasn't been terribly too long since I've last written, but blogging from your phone isn't the easiest or most enjoyable... at all. I'm buying a Macbook by the end of this month... so hopefully I'll post more often. The goal is to post once a week *crosses fingers* but sometimes I just don't have much to say and I think that speaks for itself.

So what do I have to say today, well I'd like to first let you know it's not dawn... my mind did not pull me from my dreams in a rush to let my feelings flow from my head to my finger tips. Well, kinda. (I did write the poem at like 3AM)
I'm a dance major in college for the few that may not know, and in one of my dance classes we are required to freely write based off a subject matter our professor gives us each week. The prompt this week was "Why do you dance" I wrote a poem, enjoy.    

I dance to move.

To be seen.

To be heard.

To hide.

I dance because it’s my air.

It's my life or death.

If there was no dance,

Air wouldn't do me justice.

I have something to say;

“Shhhh”

I have to quietly shout.

Please, someone listen to me...

I have something to say!

The world is a shitty place.

Let me take you to where I go,

When my feet hit the floor,

Where my mental illness

Falls off me like pouring rain.

Where I feel comfortable

In my my skin for a brief moment…

Where my uncertainties become certain,

My guilt turns into overwhelming pleasure.

And where I lose myself and find myself

all at the same time.

Let me show you a feeling.

Let me pull at the pit of your stomach.

Let the good and bad memories

flicker across your mind.

Let your eyes water up and your head bob.

Become uncomfortable.

Feel Something!

Please do.

Feelings are okay here.

They're valid.

You matter.

We matter.

People will listen, they have to listen.

Say it!

My words roll of the tips of my fingers,

Watch as people drink it in

Like sweet golden honey.

…

…

The music fades...

…

…

“Shhhh”

...

Let's pretend like nothing happened.

Like a drunken filled night.

It'll be one big secret,

Which is how we all prefer it…

To be seen.

To be heard

And most importantly,

To hide.

10 Things to do When You're feeling discouraged.

Can we all agree discouragement really sucks?

I'm currently facing something that's really taking a toll on me, if you haven't read any of my previous posts (you should btw) I've mentioned that I'm an extremist. Meaning, that I'm a 0-100 kinda person and it tends to bite me in the ass more times than I'd like... and it's doing it currently!-_-

So basically I'm super discouraged right now and all I want to do is lay in bed all day and feel sorry for myself, but friend... that's not an option. I try to NEVER play the victim role, but I'm a girl and it happens sometimes *smiles*.  Here are ten things I make myself do when I'm feeling discouraged.


1. Listen to positive music

This is a tough one for me, even if it seems simple. Feeling sorry for yourself is the easiest route and it so much easier to listen to something depressing that coincides with your current mood instead of something peppy and motivational. So guys, stay away from that Simple Plan music and turn on the overplayed radio.

2. Talk about it!

LOL. Right. Talk, about your feelings? *sticks out tongue* No way! Too bad dude, get to talking to someone. I suggest you pick a person (or your dog) you actually trust, there's a reason people don't like talking to people. It's typically because the person they once trusted was a penis and made them feel awful about their current circumstances. Also, if the person you're talking to doesn't say much back... don't take that in a negative way, sometimes people are better listeners than talkers. Don't let that little voice in the back of your head tell you, you're being annoying.

3.Reevaluate why you're doing what you're doing 

Pretty self explanatory... why are you in the situation you are in? Does it help feed a passion? Is it a step in the direction of pursuing your passion? Are you doing it for someone who matters or for yourself?  Do the benefits outweigh the costs? Sometimes we have to get out of our head and not only think about "am I happy in this moment". In my current situation in which I'm discouraged I'm honestly not happy, I've gone home sad and have even cried a few times. However, do I see the benefits of pushing through it? Absolutely. Sometimes you have to shut up and take the BS in a shitty situation... but also allow yourself to learn from it.



4.Write about it. (Sup girl )

Well, here we are...
Start a blog. Write a poem. Journal.
I literally do all three *nervous giggle* I'M EMOTIONAL OKAY! ...Don't judge me.

5. Do not post depressing things across social media.
As tempting as it may be to hop on Twitter and start re-tweeting depressing things, delete the app for the day instead. Read positive quotes on Tumblr. I make myself watch vines, it typically works for me. Basking in your sadness and not trying to help yourself only makes it worse. Don't be the depressed kid on social media, that's how you lose followers.

Yeah, because you're depressing...

6. Be realistic and practical
Being realistic and practical is extremely difficult for me. Remember that whole extremist thing we talked about?  Recently I've been trying to be positive Paula... but in all honesty it's not working out. Plus, I feel like it's more realistic (ha.) to ask someone to think about the pros and cons rather than just the pros. So don't be negative Nancy or positive Paula. Try being realistic Rachel and practical Patrica  they're so much cooler anyways. Think about all the view points and then when you're not crying in your pillow... be realistic about the options that you have. Make the practical decision, not the emotional one.

 .

7.Read the Bible or positive quotes
I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, so when I'm feeling discouraged I like to read the book of James... it's all about wisdom and I find myself learning new things every time I
read it. I also go on pintrest and pin positive quotes  *smiles big*... hashtag basic,












8.Put a little extra time into yourself that morning
I don't need makeup to feel beautiful about myself, but I enjoy it and the process of putting it on. I like learning new tricks and makeup looks, so whenever I'm feeling discouraged I like to take a little extra time in the morning and do a full face of makeup. It feels good to do it, and the compliments throughout the day don't hurt.

... 

9. Leave the past in the past

This one is probably my biggest struggle at the current moment, I keep looking back on the past and thinking about how it was soo much better and I enjoyed it sooo much more and I just want it back. The past is in the past for a reason. Leave it there. It was great while it lasted but now you're onto bigger and different things, and that's okay. You're never going to learn to be okay with your current situations if you keep comparing them to the last ones

10. You can say next.
If the situation is really taking a toll on you, don't forget the most important word... No. Say it with me now, N-O.  You are allowed to look at a situation and recognize that this is not good for your mental and or physical heath and in the words of my wise high school dance coach, "you can say next, and move onto the next opportunity", tell'em boy bye. LOVE YOU CHAMBERS.

Please fall In Love With Something Other than A Person.

I dunno, like a tractor *Cue She Thinks My Tractors Sexy!*

Wow, I haven't written in awhile.

What's on my restless mind tonight you ask? Well, love... love is on my mind. I'm not specifically talking about love in a relationship aspect... If I'm being honest I'm talking about the complete opposite. So, get that significant other out of your head that you are currently in love with, or that broke your heart because they're not the topic at hand right now. I'm talking about the kind of love that fixed your heart or give you purpose in life. So let me ask you this, when was the first time you fell in love with....

life. A craft. An idea, or a moment?

I'm not going to tell you mine, due to me telling the internet everything because let's be honest... I'm kinda a social media whore... I mean, I gotta save some secrets to keep me interesting!

My first high school musical. 

Too often we take the first time we fall in love for granted and only remember when what we love broke us instead of how it changed us. We experience it wildly, we let it consume every inch of our body and we fall madly in love with it. We don't understand what we did without it in the first place and when it ends we focus on the heartbreak and not what it contributed to us as a person.

I remember the first time I fell in love with performing. I have been involved with dance, theater and around music my whole life.

As a young child I would catch my mom in the living room dancing, or writing a play at her desk and you could count on my older brother singing a boys ll Men song in the kitchen 99 percent of the time. Performing is in my blood it's who I am, so to not do it ever again would be devastating.


I can pin point the time in my life where I said to myself... "Wow, I really love this and I can not live without it." I can also pin point when performing broke my spirit and I lost myself for a little. I often reminisce on the moment in my life where performing was an enemy rather than how it saved me from a lot of my own undoings, and still till this day I focus on the bad and the hurt it caused me rather than what joy it still gives me. How nothing other than when I'm performing matters... I am fearless, unstoppable and in those moments nobody can say anything that'll make me doubt myself. Why don't I focus on that when someone brings up theater, instead of how awful my high school theater experience was? ..... Clearly I'm still bitter about that... ha.ha.ha anywayssssss.

My point is don't be me. Don't be negative in your craft, a person or a moment in which you gained a new perspective or understanding about life. Embrace it! Let that wild love take over, and if or when it leaves... don't be bitter. Don't dwell on the fact that it's gone, don't focus on only the bad and annoying things that happened and don't, be the victim. When another opportunity presents itself like that one before (because one will) I beg you, don't love it cautiously... throw all of yourself into it all over again.

That's all I got for for you now city dreamers
XOXO Des.

Until Next Season.

Hey guys! I hope you're all doing well tonight or today! Today I wanted to talk about something that has really brought clarity to who I am, who I want to be and what I want to do for the rest of my life.. so lets dive into the rare lighter part of my mind.

 I started coaching a varsity high school dance team this past November and the season is slowly coming to an end, and when I say slowly... I mean VERY slow..too slow if I'm being honest. As I look back on the couple of months that I was teaching practice every single weekday from three to five.  (and sometimes much later!) I truly have learned a lot about myself, working with other people, respecting authority, (If you know me, you know I laugh in the face of authority!) and how to work with a group of teenage females. These are all things I thought I knew very well, I mean I have a younger sister how hard could teenage girls really be? Well homeboy! They are not easy, and kinda scary if I'm being honest. 

I started coaching later in the season due to some misunderstandings, but that wasn't going to hold me back! I am beyond passionate about teenagers and dance! I would never deny any opportunity to be involved with both. Understandably, the girls didn't take a liking to me at first (and some still don't like me) but I wasn't there for a popularity contest, I was there to challenge them as dancers and to expand their definition of the word "dance" and if I did anything else in the process that's awesome! If I didn't that's cool too. 

There was an obnoxious amount of drama from day one, before I was even part of the coaching staff and it just got worse with time. "So and so said this", "I don't like this girl" , "I dance better than everyone", "why does she get to be captain?"... blah blah blah. It had been never ending. Routines weren't done in time, a coach had to leave the team, this person only wanted to learn hip hop dances, this person couldn't do this move, there was someone sick every practice. When I tell you the drama was endless... it was endless! I wanted to quite so many times! I wanted to yell and scream and say bad words but there was one thing holding me back from doing all of the above. Any guesses? I'll wait...It's one word.... anything? 

Passion. My passion kept me grounded and reminded me why I was there in the first place! It wasn't so my routines looked amazing and everyone got every move, It wasn't for endless praise for spending my evenings coaching a bunch of emotional teenage girls, it wasn't for Instagram likes and proving myself  to the dance world. I was there to challenge them as dancers! Which I truly believe I did. However, they challenged me way more! They challenged me as a person, an educator, a coach, a dancer and my patients... they definitely challenged my patients. Within that they confirmed what I wasn't a 100% sure of, Secondary education. I now fully believe that God has put that calling on my life. After coaching and having this experience  I'm so excited and scared to continue on this journey. What had really made it all worth the drama and stress was seeing the light in my dancers faces when they were excited about a dance or the light turn on after working so hard to get a move and finally not only getting it, but nailing it! Yes, this season was stressful, unpredictable, crazy, and endless drama! But it was also informative, fun, exciting and totally worth the endless drama. I'm so excited for next season!
That's all for not city dreamers,
XOXO
Des.