"My first kiss went a little like this"

Can you guess what this post is about? 

Kissing? you guest it.. This post is about.. Wait for it... Kissing! 

It's 4AM and I'm up thinking about kissing... Not the sweet kind that you actually want, but the fact that I've had some really interesting kissing situations. 

Warning to family; this post is about me kissing.. If that bothers you, I suggest you don't read it(; 

Okay, now that we've got that out of the way, I'll start. 

I'll begin with my first real kiss, not counting this boy named Adam in first grade that I kissed; and then wipped my mouth after walking away saying, "ew". I was sassy and opinionated even at a young age! anyways... 

I waited a good while for my first kiss ( atleast compared to my friends) I was 16, seconded semester of sophomore year around May. (my 17th birthday was in June.. So almost 17) I was at a party, not even a party.. A big "hangout"  ( I'm changing the names of these gentlemen too btw) at a friends house with... I wanna say my cousin, or friend Emily... I'm not entirely sure. But we were there, and so was my elementary school crush. I seriously had the biggest crush on this kid, he was mixed and had these green eyes, and freckles and he was taller than me... which in elementary school, is a big deal! Fourth through fifth grade I was absolutely obsessed with him, and so was every other girl in elementary school. For some reason though, between us...ha....he didn't like me....and I don't understand why!? because your girl was sexy and fine... Okay. Honestly, I wasn't lookin too cute in elementary school... but still! I had a great personality... I guess that explains why he only wanted to be friends...?...But we were really good friends. He hung out at my house, we talked on the phone all the time ( before 5th graders had cell phones) he knew my brother and my mom really liked him. So we really were good friends. (What should we call him....will call him Jeff!) "Jeff"ended up moving in middle school and we didn't stay in contact very much because of his move, and life, So for the first time in about five years we saw each other. (And thank god your girl was lookin mighty cute that night) there was instant flirtatious comments said and questions beating around the bush of: "are you with anybody" or "are you talking to someone" and we each weren't. This is the part I'm confused about,  and not exactly sure how or what happened. I remember not seeing him in the living room, curious to where he went, I went to the dining room to look for him and saw him just sitting there; I leaned up against the wall and was kind of joking around with him about elementary school, asked him what he was doing in here alone... And  he didn't say much,  just got up and pulled my hands over to him and sat back down..... And leanded in and kissed me!!! It was so smooth and simple and natural and genuine I was so impressed lol. But how was the kiss? Ehhh, it wasn't bad... it was just empty. Make sense because my feelings for him were in fourth and fith grade and obviously they weren't there anymore. I did however do the dumbest thing in the world, because I don't know what you say after someone kisses you for the first time....  I blurted out

"That was my First kiss!!" And he said "oh really.." and kissed me again and asked if I wanted to go upstairs. I bluntly declined and said no, and then left. Me and Jeff are still really good friends today. 

The Second time was awful, lol I think it's because I was still learning how to kiss?.. And Jeff who I previously kissed was mixed and had really full lips, and was really good at whatever he did... And jeff told me I was good kisser, soooo..you're welcome(; The second person I kissed was white, and skinny and his name was ...."Doug"....and it was just awful! I just didn't understand that most white people don't have full lips like myself and Jeff, and I didn't understand how it worked. I think I was just kissing his teeth ...and it was a just an overall bad experience.... Goes to say sometimes things are little awkward between me and "Doug"... but I didn't know what I was doing, it was my second time, his lips were almost none existent and yeah.hahah. 

After those two interesting experiences, Ive decided to save my kissing for people I actually like. 

I hope you guys enjoyed this happier blog post! If you have any questions or want to share your first kiss stories with me, please do! You can email me at Destinyholloway55@gmail.com 

 That's all for now city dreamers 

Xoxo 

Gossip Girl...

Ha! JUST KIDDING 

Des(;  

Let's Get Some Jesus On This Blog!

Are you shocked!? I kinda am too... I mean two blog posts within the same month!!! Hold the phone right now! I blame it on overly thinking everything, your girl has a lot on her mind.. And sometimes writing (or typing) it out helps make better sense of it all.

I feel bad writing...kinda of, two depressing posts one after another. But don't you worry your pretty like mind (if you know what I just quoted, ten points for you Glen Coco! You go Glen Coco) a funny/more humoris one is coming your way shortly! I just haven't finished writing it yet, and if you liked my "first date" post, you're going to love the next one! But unfortunately, this one isn't as funny as my pervious ones. 

So let's set the mood

So it's 2AM and it WAS raining outside. I slipped out of bed, gracefully tripping over miscellaneous items on the floor& opened the window so I could let nature talk to me for few minutes. Literally, just a few minutes; I guess nature had somebody better to speak to tonight, It was nice well it lasted. 

Anyways.... To my mind! 

I have really bad anxiety, if you don't believe in anxiety than will say I have breathing issues, and become really overwhelmed very easy outside of my comfort zone. This blog should clearly be called "lost in a city full of issues" because clearly I have a lot! I'm kidding... Ha. Ha. Okayy anyway... 

I am not religious, I do however have an amazing personal relationship with Jesus Christ. What's the difference? Ha, I'll have to save that for another post. But there's a scripture I've had tacked up on my bulletin bored since my freshman year of high school, that I still read outlloud every time my eyes see it. 

Philippians 4:6

"Don't be anxious about anything. Instead, pray for everything. Tell god what you need and thank him for all he's done."

I'm sure you can understand why I like that verse so much, but also understand that what God is asking for, isn't the easiest thing. God says, "DONT be anxious" not "hey, des.. Maybe you could not be anxious, I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life or anything, because I know you're an independent black women but.. You know maybe you could just chill a little." He didn't say that... It was a command. To command an anxious person to not be anxious, is like putting a beer infront of an alcoholic, leaving the room and asking him not to drink it... The odds are not in our favor, So how do you deal with this!? Faith. "That seems to be the answer to everything for you God people," not everything, but that is the foundation of my relationship with Christ. 

I deal with being anxious by trusting in the person that loves me most, and sometimes it's super hard... Like, really really really hard! But I know God loves me! He has plans and purposes way bigger than I could ever imagine! Yes, sometimes I don't understand and get frustrated and want to cry and even purposely try to defy God, but honestly.. I always end up in the same place.. In his will. The funny thing is, it isn't so bad. 

But let's not forget the rest of the verse! 

"Tell God what you need and thank him for all he's done" 

Isn't that so cool! God wants to hear from you, what you need. (or think you need) He wants to talk to you and actually hear what you have to say. And he wants you to want to thank him... Not just to get what you want or because you think he needs to hear it, but because you are truely thankful. 

And sometimes I am very ungrateful, because I don't take my mind off the negative and focus on the positive. That's going to change. 

That's all for now dreamers 

Xoxo Des. 

Send me an email! Destinyholloway55@gmail.com