L.I.V

Yooooo! What's up guys, It's been a few weeks and there's been a few positive changes going on, which is really exciting because nothings really been going my way since the middle of August.
First things first I'm the realest ... ha just kidding. But I don't think I fully explained to some of my readers that I'm not actually in Boston right now. I don't really feel like going into detail about it just yet, because its still a really touchy and sad subject for me, Aka Destiny is really bitter about not being in the city of her dreams. However, I will be living in Charlotte which is a lot better than this small town I thought I would be stuck in forever. I'm going to the Art Institute for fashion marketing, I think I'll really like it there, I've always had a heart for fashion but never thought about pursuing it as a career. After I finish there I plan to attend a small state university, where? Honestly... I have no idea I have a check list for what I'm looking for in a school... not where... I'm open to anywhere in the country.

 But that's later on in life... for now your girl is a fashion major and in 2 days I move into my new apartment with three other girls, and to say I'm excited is pretty much the biggest understatement of my life! I'll post pictures of it and give you the 411 on my roommates too(; Leaving home is a pretty bittersweet thing... more sweet than bitter but there are somethings I'm going to miss for sure! Like crawling into my moms bed when there's a thunderstorm and more than anything, my little sister.

Let me tell you a little bit about her..

My little sister is my best friend... I don't know if that's sad or sweet... but she truly is my favorite person. She's the biggest dork I know with so much sass, I like laying in bed with her and giving her boy advice (which honestly she shouldn't take from me because I seriously know like nothing..but whatever) I love when she attacks me with tickles even when I threaten to pull her hair out if she doesn't stop, I love helping her pick out outfits and even though I pretend like I hate when she borrows my clothes....I secretly love that she thinks my clothes are cool enough to wear. I'm gonna miss that little nut! I hope I never let her down, and that I'm always there for her when she needs me; even if I am an hour away and doing my own thing. I hope I've shown her I love her enough for her to know that I would drop anything for her if she really needed me. As I sit here now tearing up a little because I'm stupid and dump.. I've realized I've never cared about anybody more (other than parents of course, HI MOM!!)  than her. She makes me want to be a better person so I never let her down, I love you liv and thank you.. I'm always here for you, whenever you need me.

This post is pretty short and sweet, but leaving my sister is the only thing I can put into words right now, youll be hearing a lot more from me. I've previously been blogging off my Ipad... but now I have my new laptop (Thanks dad!!!) so you'll be hearing a lot more from me.

That's all for now city dreamers
xoxo
Des.

"My first kiss went a little like this"

Can you guess what this post is about? 

Kissing? you guest it.. This post is about.. Wait for it... Kissing! 

It's 4AM and I'm up thinking about kissing... Not the sweet kind that you actually want, but the fact that I've had some really interesting kissing situations. 

Warning to family; this post is about me kissing.. If that bothers you, I suggest you don't read it(; 

Okay, now that we've got that out of the way, I'll start. 

I'll begin with my first real kiss, not counting this boy named Adam in first grade that I kissed; and then wipped my mouth after walking away saying, "ew". I was sassy and opinionated even at a young age! anyways... 

I waited a good while for my first kiss ( atleast compared to my friends) I was 16, seconded semester of sophomore year around May. (my 17th birthday was in June.. So almost 17) I was at a party, not even a party.. A big "hangout"  ( I'm changing the names of these gentlemen too btw) at a friends house with... I wanna say my cousin, or friend Emily... I'm not entirely sure. But we were there, and so was my elementary school crush. I seriously had the biggest crush on this kid, he was mixed and had these green eyes, and freckles and he was taller than me... which in elementary school, is a big deal! Fourth through fifth grade I was absolutely obsessed with him, and so was every other girl in elementary school. For some reason though, between us...ha....he didn't like me....and I don't understand why!? because your girl was sexy and fine... Okay. Honestly, I wasn't lookin too cute in elementary school... but still! I had a great personality... I guess that explains why he only wanted to be friends...?...But we were really good friends. He hung out at my house, we talked on the phone all the time ( before 5th graders had cell phones) he knew my brother and my mom really liked him. So we really were good friends. (What should we call him....will call him Jeff!) "Jeff"ended up moving in middle school and we didn't stay in contact very much because of his move, and life, So for the first time in about five years we saw each other. (And thank god your girl was lookin mighty cute that night) there was instant flirtatious comments said and questions beating around the bush of: "are you with anybody" or "are you talking to someone" and we each weren't. This is the part I'm confused about,  and not exactly sure how or what happened. I remember not seeing him in the living room, curious to where he went, I went to the dining room to look for him and saw him just sitting there; I leaned up against the wall and was kind of joking around with him about elementary school, asked him what he was doing in here alone... And  he didn't say much,  just got up and pulled my hands over to him and sat back down..... And leanded in and kissed me!!! It was so smooth and simple and natural and genuine I was so impressed lol. But how was the kiss? Ehhh, it wasn't bad... it was just empty. Make sense because my feelings for him were in fourth and fith grade and obviously they weren't there anymore. I did however do the dumbest thing in the world, because I don't know what you say after someone kisses you for the first time....  I blurted out

"That was my First kiss!!" And he said "oh really.." and kissed me again and asked if I wanted to go upstairs. I bluntly declined and said no, and then left. Me and Jeff are still really good friends today. 

The Second time was awful, lol I think it's because I was still learning how to kiss?.. And Jeff who I previously kissed was mixed and had really full lips, and was really good at whatever he did... And jeff told me I was good kisser, soooo..you're welcome(; The second person I kissed was white, and skinny and his name was ...."Doug"....and it was just awful! I just didn't understand that most white people don't have full lips like myself and Jeff, and I didn't understand how it worked. I think I was just kissing his teeth ...and it was a just an overall bad experience.... Goes to say sometimes things are little awkward between me and "Doug"... but I didn't know what I was doing, it was my second time, his lips were almost none existent and yeah.hahah. 

After those two interesting experiences, Ive decided to save my kissing for people I actually like. 

I hope you guys enjoyed this happier blog post! If you have any questions or want to share your first kiss stories with me, please do! You can email me at Destinyholloway55@gmail.com 

 That's all for now city dreamers 

Xoxo 

Gossip Girl...

Ha! JUST KIDDING 

Des(;  

Let's Get Some Jesus On This Blog!

Are you shocked!? I kinda am too... I mean two blog posts within the same month!!! Hold the phone right now! I blame it on overly thinking everything, your girl has a lot on her mind.. And sometimes writing (or typing) it out helps make better sense of it all.

I feel bad writing...kinda of, two depressing posts one after another. But don't you worry your pretty like mind (if you know what I just quoted, ten points for you Glen Coco! You go Glen Coco) a funny/more humoris one is coming your way shortly! I just haven't finished writing it yet, and if you liked my "first date" post, you're going to love the next one! But unfortunately, this one isn't as funny as my pervious ones. 

So let's set the mood

So it's 2AM and it WAS raining outside. I slipped out of bed, gracefully tripping over miscellaneous items on the floor& opened the window so I could let nature talk to me for few minutes. Literally, just a few minutes; I guess nature had somebody better to speak to tonight, It was nice well it lasted. 

Anyways.... To my mind! 

I have really bad anxiety, if you don't believe in anxiety than will say I have breathing issues, and become really overwhelmed very easy outside of my comfort zone. This blog should clearly be called "lost in a city full of issues" because clearly I have a lot! I'm kidding... Ha. Ha. Okayy anyway... 

I am not religious, I do however have an amazing personal relationship with Jesus Christ. What's the difference? Ha, I'll have to save that for another post. But there's a scripture I've had tacked up on my bulletin bored since my freshman year of high school, that I still read outlloud every time my eyes see it. 

Philippians 4:6

"Don't be anxious about anything. Instead, pray for everything. Tell god what you need and thank him for all he's done."

I'm sure you can understand why I like that verse so much, but also understand that what God is asking for, isn't the easiest thing. God says, "DONT be anxious" not "hey, des.. Maybe you could not be anxious, I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life or anything, because I know you're an independent black women but.. You know maybe you could just chill a little." He didn't say that... It was a command. To command an anxious person to not be anxious, is like putting a beer infront of an alcoholic, leaving the room and asking him not to drink it... The odds are not in our favor, So how do you deal with this!? Faith. "That seems to be the answer to everything for you God people," not everything, but that is the foundation of my relationship with Christ. 

I deal with being anxious by trusting in the person that loves me most, and sometimes it's super hard... Like, really really really hard! But I know God loves me! He has plans and purposes way bigger than I could ever imagine! Yes, sometimes I don't understand and get frustrated and want to cry and even purposely try to defy God, but honestly.. I always end up in the same place.. In his will. The funny thing is, it isn't so bad. 

But let's not forget the rest of the verse! 

"Tell God what you need and thank him for all he's done" 

Isn't that so cool! God wants to hear from you, what you need. (or think you need) He wants to talk to you and actually hear what you have to say. And he wants you to want to thank him... Not just to get what you want or because you think he needs to hear it, but because you are truely thankful. 

And sometimes I am very ungrateful, because I don't take my mind off the negative and focus on the positive. That's going to change. 

That's all for now dreamers 

Xoxo Des. 

Send me an email! Destinyholloway55@gmail.com  

My First Date...

 So, this is my first actually "blog" and I'm probably way more excited about sharing my life with you than you are wanting to actually read. But that's fine! Maybe I'll grow on you and we will become best friends and then be bridesmaids at each other’s weddings! Ehh? Maybe not? But, this is the internet and there are endless opportunities on here! I didn’t want to do a typical "about me" post to start this off; I wanted to dive straight into my 18 year old brain. But, if you do want to know a little bit about me, there will be a "meet me" link (if not already up) somewhere on this blog. Let's get started! 

 I went on my first date…I know! I'm 18 and still haven't had my first real date (*pouts*) because I'm NOT counting this as one…. Well, I kind of did? IT....WAS… AWFUL! Now, given the way I met this guy, I honestly shouldn't have been shocked…But, I was. We met through a mutual friend. Well, we didn't actually meet through a mutual friend; he saw a picture of me told my friend I was cute, and she give him my number. Which I was fine with. Whatever right? Every girl is down for an ego boost. So, we text each other...he was kind of boring but, he called me pretty, gorgeous, beautiful, etc, and etc. And I really needed to hear it at the time so, I just kept entertaining him. A few days into texting, he asked if I wanted to hang out and I was thinking free food, He’ll call me pretty? Maybe he'll be fun to talk to….. ya know? So, I said… SURE! Let’s hang out! I asked, "what do you want to do?" and he said," I don't know what you want to do?” PAUSE!... I don't care who you are, you never ask a girl; who YOU are asking out on a date, where she wants to go. The red flag was waving high and dry, and stupid me ignores it.... dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb!! I told him to pick, and he suggested a certain mall and some place to eat. The mall he suggested is actually really nice and I could see a good date happening there so, I agreed. He said, “Cool” and asked if he could pick me up. (Which, was nice. I was thinking to myself ...Okay, this makes up for him asking me where I wanted to go.....WRONG!!!) So, I said, “Yeah that's fine”. I was a little nervous, the whole day, but pushed through the nervousness. I wore a really cute, comfortable, trendy outfit that was good for mall walking and dinner dinning. (Ha. I'm funny) He picked me up in a pretty nice car. (Which is always a plus ladies) I got in and said, “Hello “then, thanked him for picking me up. We started talking about what he did for work, and this is where it all came crashing down. He asked me were the closest mall was from my house, and in my head I'm just thinking... “Why does it matter?”” You said we were going to the nice mall?” I responded with, "I'm not sure". He ended up taking me to a really small, not a good date mall! I brushed it off, and thought, maybe he found a better place to eat over here…Ya know...trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. So, we're talking… let me rephrase that… HE'S TALKING… AT ME! He tells me about what he does for work and keeps talking and talking and talking. He talked to me about his job for a good 25 minutes. Every time I tried to get a word in, he FREAKING CUT ME OFF!!! I was a little taken back, but trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, yet again! (Gosh! I'm so nice) I just told myself he was nervous; and some people talk a lot when they're nervous. We got to the mall, walked in and walked around the whole (small) mall for about 20 minutes; by this time, I'm thinking when is this kid gonna feed me? Never, he NEVER did! He finally, asked if I wanted to go into Belk......BELK! I thought, ummm what? Yet again… I go giving this kid the benefit of the doubt… and said, “Sure.” So, we walked into Belk and walked, and walked ...awkwardly talking, awkwardly try not to get to close to each other. When, all I really wanted to do was push him over the seconded floor of Belk, and walk away like the cool girls do in movies; you know, with wind going through my hair, a random wardrobe change, and a sexy pair of 6 inch heels. But… unfortunately, that's not how this date ended. We did this awkward walking and talking for a good 2 hours, minimum. We went into JCPenny and freaking Sears? All the while, awkwardly walking and talking. It was awful! Mind you, this whole time… HE'S TALKING ABOUT HIM SELF! Here's a hint guys… girls go on dates so, you can get to know, THEM! Yes, sure we will get to know you a little, but for the most part we want to talk about ourselves. We want you to get to know us! You should want to get to know us. (Maybe, I'm the only girl who thinks like that hahaha.) For 2 whole hours, talked to me about his job and his ex-girlfriend....*blank stare*…another hint gentlemen, DO NOT TALK ABOUT YOUR EXS ON A FIRST DATE, EVER! After all that talking about himself, he decided to take me home. BEST DECISION HE'S MADE ALL NIGHT! But you guys!!! It goes downhill from here. We got into the car, and he puts on the song "Here comes goodbye" by Rascal Flatts. (If you don't know that song you can listen to it under this post.) So he puts that song on, and starts singing it.... terribly! It would have been cute if, he hadn’t screwed up the rest of the date; but, then he look at me and said, "This is about my ex-girlfriend." Umm, Mr. Sir, you are aware that you're on a first date? I wanted to open the door and ninja turtle roll right out of there. So, we FINALLY get back to my house, I lie and say I had fun and get out. Quickly, I might add. 

 So guys that was my awful first date; that I am not counting as a first date at all. (: I would love to hear yours! Leave me a comment or you can email it to me at Destinycity12@gmail.com. I honestly would love to hear it! Bye for now city dreamers... xoxo Des.
 Here comes goodbye 
Here comes goodbye link